A bride-to-be...

This has been a very happy morning.  There is a blanket of white outside and I'm surrounded by people I love while we celebrate the greatest love of all - God sending His own son. I was thinking about these things while I was getting ready after sharing gifts with my family.

It is the best love story.

Since the beginning, He has loved His creation and He has courted His love - wooing her through the ages, though at times she has been blind and deaf and cold.  He has pursued her relentlessly, knowing that Forever together eclipsed all that it would cost Him.

On Christmas, we celebrate the day He got on one knee and proposed to humanity. We are His bride, and He sent His son as the ultimate declaration of love - His invitation to a Forever together.

With a proposal this good, can you imagine the wedding He has prepared for us?

May you all have a safe, joyous holiday with loved ones and be filled with all the warmth and assurance that comes from knowing He loves us.  Merry Christmas!

-Amanda

It couldn't come soon enough...

Home for Christmas.

Ribboned smoke from bright fireplaces
The spicy breath of gingerbread faces
Pine trees adorned in candy garlands-
A Christmas at home is calling.

I drive with snow and peppermint
The miles pass with each remembered scent
Until the warm sight of home is found-
The sweet fragrance of family all around.

-af dec 2009

Proof:

I'd rather be writing anything but my internship paper...

I wrote and entered this in a challenge called "Relishing Vegetables" this afternoon -

pomme de terre,
fruit of working-class sustenance -
apple of the earth

...it's about potatoes...

sigh.

Coming of Age

i am no longer a child -
i reach for volatile innocence
but clock hands hold me back
reminders of what's wasting

i am waiting -
as the unknown sky darkens overhead
the whispers of my child heart say patience
sunshine's just in her dressing room

i am not afraid -
held fast in joy and peace i journey
through hymn drenched mourning to
Love's sweet promise

af - december2009

A Prayer Request!

Hello, hello my friends and loved ones!

I just wanted to update you on a few things....
First - there are a few teams going to Tokyo this winter break, the first of which is already there I think.  A Chi Alpha team from Alabama is there doing ministry at different universities as well as participating in XA Japan's Christmas festivities so please keep their ministry in prayer as well as the team's health and travel as they serve the Lord!

Second, I know a team of six from Kansas City's International House of Prayer will be heading to Tokyo in seven days! The team is lead by my good friend and summer Tokyo cohort Robert Monson.  He's been sick on and off for the past few months so please keep him in your prayers as they prepare to go! Also, keep financial blessing, safe travel and effective ministry opportunities in mind as you pray for this team. 

I know God is going to use these missions teams and missionaries Joyce, Susan, Yuri and April to reach Japanese students during this holiday season and I can't wait to hear how He changed lives through them!

I am also still praying and seeking out the path God has laid before me.  It has been a stressful semester, but God has confirmed more and more in my life the passion for helping my friends come to the full understanding of His love, especially the international students in my life!  I'd appreciate it if you could remember me as well in your prayers, for clear direction and unwavering determination to follow His will for me!

Thank you for your continued support and prayers!

Some random haiku....

elated embrace

horizon and sun collide

scattering shadows

------------------------

now you own the key -

a private garden, solely

ours, esoteric

---------------------------

abiding serene
a quiet night's lullaby
crickets sing and sigh

-af 2009

Until...

I am a little church.

i am a little church(no great cathedral)

far from the splendor and squalor of hurrying cities
-i do not worry if briefer days grow briefest,
i am not sorry when sun and rain make april

my life is the life of the reaper and the sower;
my prayers are prayers of earth's own clumsily striving
(finding and losing and laughing and crying)children
whose any sadness or joy is my grief or my gladness

around me surges a miracle of unceasing
birth and glory and death and resurrection:
over my sleeping self float flaming symbols
of hope,and i wake to a perfect patience of mountains

i am a little church(far from the frantic
world with its rapture and anguish)at peace with nature
-i do not worry if longer nights grow longest;
i am not sorry when silence becomes singing

winter by spring,i lift my diminutive spire to
merciful Him Whose only now is forever:
standing erect in the deathless truth of His presence
(welcoming humbly His light and proudly His darkness)

-ee cummings

An Important Person.

i'm thankful for the friendship i have with the girl on the left.

that is all.

until.

I get it.

Sometimes you run just to see who will follow...

I hate that statement. I think it's really stupid.

Come on! Come prove your love! Your friendship! Your devotion!

What's worse...it's true.  We do that! We take off, we say hateful things, we demand attention, we shy away. It's all a game of affirmation - tell me, show me, who I am to you.

I've had several conversations this week that have brought me back to this point of wondering why we do so much to hurt ourselves.  We should be remembering this, always:

he might say:

"You don't matter."

_________________________________

but He says:

"I loved you so much - in your weakness,

and your doubt,

before you loved me -

that I sent my son to die for you.
Without this act of love,

we couldn't be together - forever -

and I wanted you with me.

No matter what you say or do,

I will love you.
No matter how far you run,
I will be right beside you."

How's that for affirmation?

Until.

Twenty-two years today and counting...

-"Flight of Kings" by The Classic Crime -

Twenty two years have passed by
As I contemplate
I can recall you getting me out of every scrape
What comes first to my mind
Was the change that I so desperately needed to make
Day and night, frozen silent in blinding violent fear
A song for my fight
Comes spilling the words I so desperately needed to hear

Do you know this song's for you?
My heart goes out to the hurt you feel inside

What hurts more than just dying
Is living barely alive
After all it's easier than falling short every time
I felt the pain and set fire
To the grace that I so desperately needed to take
Day and night, frozen silent in blinding violent fear
A song for my fight
Comes spilling the words I so desperately needed to hear

Do you know this song's for you?
My heart goes out to the hurt you feel inside
Do you know this song's for you?
My heart goes out to hurt you feel

I was brought up through the ashes
Like a phoenix birthing wings
And I will fight for my disasters
I will take the flight of kings
And if your life is ever tortured
Or if you know the pain I sing
Then will you sing with me this chorus
And we will cut through people's hearts and free them

Do you know this song's for you?
My heart goes out to the hurt you feel inside
Do you know this song's for you?
My heart goes out to the hurt you feel

Geez Louise...

I'll be 22 years old tomorrow.
When did that happen?!

I feel sick from eating too many giant lemonheads and all I want to do is read for a few days, but life is pretty fantastic right about now.  I know who my God is, and still can't fathom the depths of His love. Tonight in my small group we watched the "God's Fingerprints in Japan" dvd I got in Tokyo.  The first time I watched it, it brought tears to my eyes.  What a beautiful culture God has given the Japanese people to discover and worship Him with. Amazing.  The girls in my small group really enjoyed the film and had a lot of things to say and ask about aftewards.  We are watching the second part next week. I cannot wait!


PS - find a new job, Amanda!

* * * * *

the list:

- Birthdays.

- Mom and Dad.

- Kid movies.

- The traces of Your love found throughout history.

- My girls: Erika, Yasue, Megumi, Mino, Arisa, Yukari

- Nanami

- Joyce Kitano returning to Tokyo!

- Assurance.

- Javier.

- Naps!

Until...

I was feeling sad...

...and planned on posting something along those lines...

but then I saw this puppy -

- and things didn't seem so bad.

* * * * *

Until.

Journals.

Some days, I need to be reminded of where I've been.

My old prayer journals have been my eyes into a spiritual past that is at times fiery and passionate, to almost non-existent. The patterns of growth and stagnation are almost predictable.  At times, I even have to laugh - and I'm sure God chuckles as well.

The journal that stayed with me through my summer in Japan was written with the eyes and heart of a woman rediscovering what it is to love God like a child, and what is is to be loved by God as a woman.  There is a hint of growing up that I didn't notice then, but see now as I re-read the sloppy pages of devotional entries and daily logs of my time in Tokyo.  There is a beat of consistency, a steady sense of self.

It seems like a struggle everyday to keep up with just being me. Something that should be so simple - being yourself - is actually really difficult. But, knowing that He made me to love just as I was created makes the battle for self-preservation worthwhile and - as I am ever finding out - the right people start filtering into your life the more you are just who you are. That's something to be excited about...

* * * * *

Kiss my lips and purify me whole -

My words mean nothing

Letters and breaths assembled

Into sound that is empty

If You aren't laying the truth on my tongue

I want to drink deeply of You and

have the way Your love tastes 

always in my mouth 

af - june2009

* * * * * 

the list:

- Sunshine!

- KayKay and Sara.

- Dreams.

- Simple pleasures.

- The smell of freshly brewed coffee.

- Erika Maru.

- Yuri and our goma tofu!

- Constant affirmation of Your love.

- ...and Your will.

- and just for You.

Until...

XA Halloween Party 2009...

epic.

I feel deep need to whine coming on...

Work-Out Chronicles, Day 2:
I promise I won't keep writing about working out forever...but for now it gives me a senses of satisfaction to document that I did, in fact, brave the hour long test two days in a row!

I feel the burn, if you know what I mean.

Today has been really productive.  This week, thus far, has lived up to its potential.  A few surprises have even been thrown in....

the list:
- Dreams.
- Something to look forward to.
- Cheez-Its.
- Cardio kickboxing.
- the cafe.
- Nace and Jared.
- Sara.
- Megumi.
- poetry.
- good days!

Until.

Taking care of the temple-part deux.

Work-Out Chronicles, Day 1.5:
Again I say, Pilates will be the death of me...

So, as of last week, a few friends and I decided to start walking/running on Monday nights at midnight - just after the 10-40 World Missions prayer group I recently discovered.  I attended for the first time tonight - love it! It a time to pray for the countries in the 10-40 window - the most unreached area of the world.  Anyways, moving on...

It's cold and rainy so we decided to call off the track for the night, but we weren't satisfied with just letting our bodies rest...oh no...we sought other forms of torture and what did we find you might ask...

Sara brought forth another Pilates DVD.  Though lacking some of the erm, riskier, moves from my DVD - it was just as brutal and had us all whiny by the end of the first set. After an hour, we all sat on the floor feeling like jelly and praying about the pain our poor legs, abs, arms and other body parts will surely be feeling tomorrow.

Two hours of Pilates in one day...
I need to slow this down a bit I think, but if you don't see a Day 2 update soon...someone come beat me with a Pilates mat.

Goodnight!

Taking care of the temple.

Work-Out Chronicles, Day 1:
Pilates is going to be the death of me.Sigh!

the list:
- the Storefront.
- sleeping in, one last time.
- my job.
- Monday night walks.
- 10:40 prayer window.
- Yasue and Erika.
- monjayaki.
- Grandpa Fosburg.
- Greg Tiffany.
- getting stuff done!

Until.

It's time to take care of some things...

the list:
- Alone time.
- Good music.
- Confirmation.
- A challenge.
- Discipline.
- Tortilla soup.
- Little Wilson.
- Colder days.
- That I finally(FINALLY) finished that book.
- And again, promises.

Until.

The List.

- Fall Break!
- Kohei
- Rob and Kenneth
- Kara
- My family
- Answered prayers
- Healing
- Your Word
- International House of Prayer
- Japan...

Until.

My life...

...is so blessed...

More on that later, but just know that the Lord is good to us!

Friends

...the truly great ones are few and far between. I'm realizing more and more that the keepers aren't neccessarily the people I clicked with instantly.  Some are, but most - probably not.  They aren't the ones I have the most in common with or the ones I can stay up all night talking to.

The really great ones have been there when they didn't have to be.  They have listened to me in my most selfish moments, held my hand and then told me the truth in love.  They've challenged me, even when I have been trying as a friend...and I admit, sometimes I can be trying as a friend.

Anywho - today has been rainy and cold.  I made the brilliant choice to wear heels. My first class ended early which is always nice and my second class is my favorite class this semester - Strategies for Teaching Communication. There is a lot of open discussion and self-disclosure, so we learn a lot about ourselves and each other as we learn about teaching methods. I had Group Dynamics with the same professor, the students in her classes always get pretty close and I've learned more in these two classes then the rest of college put together. Sad?  Perhaps...

I wish I would write something new, but I refuse to keep writing about the same old thing so the pen and paper will have to wait.

* * * * *

the list:

- sleeping in.

- relaxing days.

- umbrellas.

- chi alpha.

- true friends.

- the arts section of the Times.

- Daniel Basden.

- Angel Forrest.

- Your precious love.

- Tokyo.

Until...

In one week's time...

I'll be at the airport picking up a friend from Tokyo!  I almost can't believe it...more later...I have to go to class...

* * * * *

the list:
- Journalism.
- Forgiveness.
- Health.
- Nanami and Sho.
- My job.
- Meal points.
- My glasses.
- Sunshine.
- Fall leaves.
- Anticipation!

Until...

Speaking of living selflessly....

2 Corinthians 6:3-10

3 We live in such a way that no one will stumble because of us, and no one will find fault with our ministry. 4 In everything we do, we show that we are true ministers of God. We patiently endure troubles and hardships and calamities of every kind. 5 We have been beaten, been put in prison, faced angry mobs, worked to exhaustion, endured sleepless nights, and gone without food. 6 We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love. 7 We faithfully preach the truth. God’s power is working in us. We use the weapons of righteousness in the right hand for attack and the left hand for defense. 8 We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us impostors. 9 We are ignored, even though we are well known. We live close to death, but we are still alive. We have been beaten, but we have not been killed. 10 Our hearts ache, but we always have joy. We are poor, but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing, and yet we have everything.

* * * * *

the list:

- answers.

- sketching lessons.

- the storefront.

- the complexity of cockroaches...

- sourpatch kids.

- cartoons.

- safety.

- compassion.

- Brandon and Christie.

- another week to praise You.

Until...

Motive.

There comes a point in everyone's life when they realize that no matter what you do - how much effort you put forth, how much money you spend and no matter what words you say or how much you give of yourself - you can't make someone care about you the same way you care for them.  You can't make them appreciate you.

Bending over backwards to be there for someone may not merit a simple thank you or even kindness in return.  It won't prove your worth in their eyes if they are unwillingly to see it. When you get down to it, they may know the sacrifice you are making. They just may not care at all.

So, here comes the question: at what point do you stop being kind?  When does the level of concern or care in your heart become overshadowed by the need to feel, well, needed?

It is entirely human - this need to feel needed by another, especially by those we care about the most.  I think parents must go through this when kids leave the house when the separation paired with a severance of complete dependency hits them.  It happens when relationships are torn apart or the nature of a relationship changes.  It happens in one-sided friendships, when one friend perceives a level of intimacy that the other does not.

It happens.

I have a tendency to pull back when I feel that I've put myself in a situation where I feel I've given too much of my time, my resources or my heart to a person or an organization that no longer "needs" me.  Where one moment, I am nursing the problems of another or a situation - the next moment I am standing, arms folded and cold.  Even condescending. Something, and most definitely something not good, inside says to take action against before action is taken against you...or worse, before you merit no action at all.

While I don't believe its necessarily wise to stretch yourself thin for someone who doesn't care whether you are there or not, I don't think just tensing up and lashing out is the best method either and I think there's probably something to be said here about what it means to be truly selfless...

Which comes down to a question of motivation.
And maybe some of my motives need to be questioned.

* * * * *

the list:

- Randi's first aid training.
- No broken bones.
- No head injuries.
- No tickets.
- Or hospital visits.
- For friends who care.
- And even those who don't.
- Reminders.
- Directions.
- And again, for promises.

Until...

So this is morning...

Wednesday.

Here's the deal: I am finally catching up with my life again.  I put my foot down yesterday and got some stuff done. Took care of business, if you will.  I'm determined to keep it in order and still live a life that is abundant and filled with the wonder and the joy that I know is available to me because of Christ.

I know there's more to life than just getting through it.

Sidenotes: I'm going on a roadtrip soon and need song suggestions for the mix cds that will accompany me on my journey to Kansas City...

* * * * *

the list:

- text marriage. don't ask.

- chai tea.

- old friends.

- babies.

- growing up, even when it hurts.

- anticipation.

- reminders. (You're too good to me, God)

- my momma.

- Your patience.

- promises, promises, promises.

until...

so we just take it back.

[sigh.]

Listen.

Listen - to my heartbeat, break, pump life love and existence into a world I created to choose me, but it doesn't.  Listen - to my footsteps echo off buildings and pavement and joys and hurts alike - I am everywhere - can't you hear me?  Listen - to the rainfall, flood of the tears of my love, I love selfish you with every part of me and the sound of its roaring tide should rise within each time you think of me.  It burns like flame - untamed - a crackling hiss through the lies and the myths - I am here and everywhere - can't you hear me? Listen - I am in the stop, start of a city night and even in the starlit song of your backyard back home.  My voice is mixed within the laughter you love and, again, I love you - little you - can't you hear me?

af Proverbs 2:1//chi alpha prayer

Lanterns.

It's Friday night.  

The Rock Your Blues Away Cafe has a new member behind the bar. Casey, a good friend of mine, lounges near the counter reading commentary on a book series he enjoys.  His girlfriend Melodie and our mutual friend Jared kick it on the couches around the corner.  Sinatra croons in the background.  New lanterns in the window invite those passing by in for a fresh cup of coffee. The lights are low, the music's good and the company is exceptional.

This evening has been a perfect cap to a long week.

* * * * * 

Paper skin draped over these bones
Weak and worn, and not my home
My soul is longing to be re-clothed

and

You awake the heart within
I've clung too long to what has been
Wondering if this borrowed body will ever give up its sin

but

New bodies wait, each formed by Your hand
Frames made stronger than these of dirt and sand
Your promise fulfilled in the end

This dying body will be
Swallowed up by life.

af sept 2009 - 2 Cor. 5:1-4

Fail.

Why can I not convince myself to get up earlier than 10 a.m.?! sigh...

I working on a piece based out of 2 Corinthians 5...maybe I'll edit this post later with it finished.

Tonight, the Dean Williams Band (www.myspace.com/deanwilliamsband) is playing at the cafe.  I'm pretty excited about it.  I know they are good and I'm hoping we have a good crowd tonight.  Currently, I'm reading and writing and listening to The Classic Crime.

* * * * *

the list:
- rhyme
- inquiring minds
- self-disclosure
- secrets
- hearts that beat for more than just pumping blood
- first kisses
- long hugs
- warm blankets
- plans, plans, plans
- Your faithfulness

until...

Fall: Day 1

Misty morning haze

Umbrella sidewalk maze

Each step echoes in a way 

Today, the air is different

* * * * *

the list:

- Fall
- that I needed a jacket by lunchtime today
- work
- chances
- oreos
- midnight trips to walmart
- Your love, precious Savior
- strategies class
- my car
- Brady Schroeder

Until...

I'm wearing my Japan sandals.

Still no real luck with writing something new, although I did start a piece last night.  Maybe I'll finish it and get it posted this week.  Here's something old - because I had egg rolls this weekend...

 Take-Out(for Two).

you can find me under the dim neon lights
of the August Moon Express
where fried rice conjures up the smell of your laughter
-sticky and sweet-
I can feel it bubbling within take-out boxes
begging to be tasted

where Jinny smiles incoherently from behind the counter
while offering fresh eggrolls
I somehow know wrapped inside are all our secrets
-dipped generously in our warm, reddish imagination-
and savored on every occasion
of consumption

where, as usual, Hahn eyes my solo order suspiciously
when I coolly ask for one set of chopsticks
and two cookies
-little dream containing wafers-
one for me, and one for you
with hope for twin fortunes 

af 2008

* * * * *

the list:
- the great connector, Facebook
- Hyunhee, Yuri, Kohei...
- ... JunYoung, Hikari, Chisa...
- Nobue, Fusai, Mika, Naomi
- Sakai Sensei, Uchimura Sensei
- Susan, Debbie
- Rob, Eric, Liz, Sarah, Keirin, Anna
- Skype is free. Praise Him!
- Tokyo
- Tokyo, again.

Until!

Sabbath.

the list:
- home
- My Fair Lady
- spaghetti with my mom
- history
- that no amount of human error can change that You are God
- motivation
- the Storefront
- that people can and do, in fact, change with Your help
- my sister
- healing

until.

Small Events.

This morning was Small Event at NSU - the annual Fall volunteer day for campus organizations. Chi Alpha's team joined forces with the Alpha Omicron Pi sorority and planted flowers in front of the University Center, then laid mulch.  My hands haven't been that dirty in quite awhile.

I've been at work at the cafe since 3:30 p.m.  When I came in, the crew from Invisible Children (www.invisiblechildren.org) were here.  It was nice to see them again and hopefully we'll all get to hang out tonight after I leave The Rock.  We had our second Invisible Children event last night.  It was a bit smaller than last Spring's affair, but still really good.  Great organization.  They have cool bracelets from Uganda, too.  You should check it out.

I'm one week strong, no coffee.  Still working on the getting up early to read thing however...

In addition, I've been teaching myself how to shuffle cards because I've been unable to shuffle one time in almost two weeks of playing kemps! I've almost got the bridge down.  I broke in a completely new deck of cards.  Look out world.

* * * * *

the list:
- Invisible Children
- Children, in general
- Your comfort when we are grieving
- Your love, when we feel loveless
- that You so often use the foolish things of this world to prove Your point
- poetry
- my momma
- discipline
- quiet times
- going home tomorrow

 Until...

Re-Pierced.

Today I woke up missing something from my face.

Having had my nose pierced about a month ago, I've been careful when dressing, undressing, applying make-up, etc...but I guess I have no control over what happens in my sleep. I searched frantically for about fifteen minutes before just giving up and trying to see how much of the piercing had already grown in. A little pain told me putting something back in wasn't going to be so easy and I still had two classes and lunch to go before I could leave campus to get a new stud. Sigh, Fridays.

Alas, I finally made my way to the local tattoo and piercing parlor and re-adorned my nose.

In the midst of all this morning confusion, needless to say, I didn't sit down to be alone with God. I rambled to Him aimlessly in my head("God, where can it be? Can you help me find it? I'm going to be late for class. I'll read at work! Why is that stupid thing so small?), but I didn't actually talk to Him and I definitely didn't give Him time to speak. When will I start waking up and, missing that time with God, know something is missing from my heart? I shouldn't have to re-pierce His beautiful hands every other day. When will my desire to know Him outweigh my desire to sleep, succeed, forget, just live? Who wants to "just live" when He offers us a life that is abundant and whole and completely satisfying?

These days, all I want to do is love Him more.

 * * * * *

the list:

- sunshine

- the ellers

- new girls in xa

- writing buddies

- old coffee friends

- the rock cafe

- good music

- that You desire to reveal Yourself to us in greater ways

- Your plans are complete, You know my next step

- isaiah 55

until...

Coconut-Kissed.

Dreams burn -

Tahiti heat
shriveling circumstance into a
   sand pebble.
Cheeks, towel dry and sun glowing,
plump with sea salt smiles and
   coconut kisses.
The blue ocean,
   for once,
surrounds instead of separates,
and hearts keep time with each wave breaking
   common shore.
Eyes closed under island umbrellas -

I am you, you are me
We are we - and free

Swaying to our palm tree promises

-af sept2008

* * * * *

I thought of this piece today while I was shivering in class. I wrote it a year ago for a series I was writing with another writer. I haven't really been to Tahiti...sigh.

These days, all I want is a new adventure.  I want photos and art and friends.  I want deeper faith. I just want to be outside where the world is. I'm slowly developing this personal belief that each sunrise is a challenge to make the new day different from the last. 

The days are getting shorter.  I love this time of year.  It's perfect weather for soy chai lattes and  poetry.  Fall often has me looking back on things that shouldn't matter now, and that's something I hope to address this season.  I don't want to spend my time scribbling verse on leftover emotion just because I can't find the inspiration to write something new.  So far...no luck...but we keep trying...

* * * * *

From now on, I'm going to try to post at least this section every day.  This is something I do when I journal, maybe I'll be more consistent with writing if I make this a daily commitment.  When I do my devotional journal - I always start with a list of ten+ things I'm thankful for that day.  It's usually addressed to God Himself, and I don't plan on changing that aspect of the list.   Sometimes it's deep, sometimes it's trivial.  I like it because it always gives me a moment to pause and thank Him.

the list:

- Your overwhelming patience with me   

- the truth                                               

- rest                                                      

- Amy's class

- Chi Alpha Guys/Girls night

- Kara, Kari, Nanami

- Teej, Nace, Kelly

- The Bassetts

- my amazing family

- promises

Until...

Coffee Fast...

...by that, I mean fast coffee. Generally I wouldn't throw this out there, but since I currently have one regular... (that's a shout-out to you Brady Bear!)...I figured it would be okay.

This is going to be hard.  I love that liquid pick-me-up and I've enjoyed having it back in my life after the post-Starbucks-in-Tahlequah depression of late 2008 - summer 2009.  I was happily caffeinated while roaming the streets of Tokyo, where coffee is available in almost every form possible, everywhere.  Starbucks and I reunited.  I discovered Tulley's.  I had coffee with dinner, from a vending machine, fresh in the morning...you get the point...

Returning to the U.S., I looked forward to potentially working at the newest coffee dive in Tahlequah, "The Rock Your Blues Away Cafe."  Which I am, and well into the swing of tamping and pulling two shots each morning for an Americano or macchiato to get my blood moving.

I have a deep appreciation for coffee.  I've studied origin countries, wet and dry roasting processes, acidity, aroma.  I could problem work with coffee for all of my days and be pretty happy. Here's the deal...

...I want to develop a thirst for the Word in my life that exceeds all else.  Like that first morning cup, I want to look forward to that first verse.  I want the first taste in my mouth to be that of truth, life, love.  I read my Bible, but I know I get the most out of the Word in the early morning hours - before the rest of my day starts. 

So that's that, coffee fast. Coffee, of course, has never taken precedence over spending time with Him. Generally, I enjoy a nice medium roast while reading but I want to do this as a reminder to seek God in those morning hours.

Here we go...

New Things:

Life in America is back - full swing.  It's my first semester of my senior year, I have a fun job and amazing friends.  In addition, God is really doing some cool things on my campus!

I'm still praying for Japan and my friends there. I miss them every day! I'm also still just seeking God as I prepare to graduate and enter the next phase of my life, whether here or in Tokyo.  I was able to speak at my church two Sundays ago about my trip and share some photos! It's nice that people are still curious about it and I still get to share stories all the time.  I feel like I bring Japan up a lot in conversation, but I suppose that's a good thing - it just fits so perfectly in my heart.

Another reason I'm updating is because I have a personal blog now, if anyone is interested: doubleshotsofdistraction.blogspot.com.  It's kind of random, hopefully I'll update often. I just really want to write more. So, there it is if you are interested!

Thanks again to all those who followed, read, and prayed!

Testimony[City Lights and Ink].

[I want pens that spill words of life]

Hope resonates inside -

I stretch and shake this earth suit from my bones
The face that wears strength for the world is bare before you
The one from which power originated

The heart that works to keep me breathing
Beats fast, then slow in your presence
The one who formed it with his hands

In this stillness - we are One
And I am whole for once

There is no fear, no shame, no lies
I am vulnerable and small before you
I am never stronger than when I am with you

Every part of myself pulls together
From all sides and hidden corners of my life
Reassembled in your eyes

I am beautiful

From the fingertips that ache to author
Something of worth about you
To the eyes that long to see you in full

This hope resonates inside -

This fills waking moments and inspires dreams
Despite the burden a day brings
Despite the pain my weakness clings to

You wait, you wait, you wait

Drawing near as I stumble to your side
Tossing off layers of trouble
Until it's just you and me

Me and You, alone

Reborn, reformed, redeemed
by Love

-af2009, Tokyo

Home.

Well, as most of you know, I'm back on American soil these days.

The journey home was fairly smooth, minus a little ticket mix-up in Tokyo. Once that was solved, I was good to go. Watched some in-flight movies and took a couple of naps...about 20 hrs later I was waiting for my bags in Tulsa with my parents. I did lose a wheel on my suitcase in Tulsa, but that was almost funny considering how it was dragged up train station stairs and made two overseas flights just to get banged up at my last stop. God is good!

My last weekend in Tokyo was really great. As I mentioned in my last post, I spent the weekend at a friend's house near Mt. Fuji. It was a really relaxing time and it was nice to just spend time with everyone before we went our separate ways. Sunday morning, I went to my last service at Tokyo Urban Church. That was hard! I really miss TkUC and my church family there. My cell group bought pizza (pepperoni! yay!) for lunch and they gave me a traditional Japanese style purse which was really nice! I took a ton of pictures and then I headed over to GAP church to see our friends there.

After GAP, we went to Starbucks so I could use the free drink coupon that came with a gift from my friend Kohei. While we were there, there was an earthquake. No one was injured in that earthquake, but it was pretty wild to be there when it happened...

That night, summer team members Liz and Eric joined Robert, Yuri, Kohei and I at the student center to hang out and we did a praise and worship set. Robert, Liz, Eric and I were planning on staying up all night so we would sleep on our flights the next day. They were all leaving pretty early in the day so I was going to help them get their stuff on the train in the morning before going back to Susan's to get my own stuff together. The boys ended up falling asleep, but Liz and I persevered. Around 5:45 a.m., we loaded up and started walking to the station in the pouring rain. I think it had never rained that hard all summer, but it was okay...we got to the station and Kohei was standing there! I was so surprised. He had gotten up early and came to see us off which was really nice. I'm glad he was there, because he ended up going all the way to the airport with the boys and Liz and they needed the help with their luggage.

Pastor Sakai drove me to the airport when it was my time to go, which was really kind of him. It's a two hour drive and my bags were SO heavy! So, Pastor Sakai and Susan were there to see me off at Narita Airport. At first, I felt too tired to really feel sad but when I got through security and got in line for immigration...that's when it really hit me and I started crying. I met so many amazing people this summer and I experienced a lot of really cool things. Bigger and better than that though, God just really opened up my eyes and my heart in new ways. It was hard leaving Tokyo and the summer behind, even though I know God has amazing plans for this year in Chi Alpha and with the international students on my campus.

Tokyo looked bright and beautiful as the plane took off from Narita. It was already dark and the city lights were endless. I'm glad to be home now, getting ready for my senior year at Northeastern State and seeing all my old friends. I'm still praying for Tokyo and the campuses and churches I worked with this summer and I hope you will keep praying for them as well.

I hope to return to Tokyo by next fall. Thank you so much for supporting me on my first trip to Japan and I'll be in touch through this blog if and when I start planning on returning. Again, thank you so much and I pray God blesses you as you have surely been a blessing to me!

-Amanda

The Last Weekend!

Well, this week has been really fun. Campus ministry ended last week, most students are back home or already on vacation. We are wrapping up our adventure in Japan with friends and Christian family.

Monday evening we had our Chi Alpha debriefing meeting at Susan's apartment. Susan made a really awesome meal for us and we talked about the summer and prayed together and for each other as we separate for now. April left this Wednesday for America for two months. Robert and I leave on Monday. Yuri is going to Malaysia for a short while at the end of the month and Susan is going on much needed vacation after all her hard work with these teams while her kitchen is renovated. It was really nice just to sit down and enjoy a meal together after all the summer's activities!

On Tuesday, several friends from LOGOS and GAP church met together for lunch near Todai and then I went to Tokyo Dome City with Robert, Kohei, JunYoung and Hikari. That evening, I met Izumi and Yuriko and we spent the evening in Roppongi at the Mori Art building and Tokyo City View! The sushi from my last post came from Xen, a really nice restaurant in that building. I was really glad I was able to spend some more time with Izumi and Yuriko - I'm going to miss them! They gave me a banner towel from The University of Tokyo, so nice!

Wednesday, I went back to Roppongi and actually went into the Mori Art Museum because I had a discount ticket and did a little shopping. Around 5 pm, I met Misaki in Shinjuku for dinner and purikura! It was nice to see her while she was visiting Tokyo. She actually lives in Kobe.

Yesterday was a really fun day! We met Eric at Tokyo Station as he came in from Sendai on the shinkasen-bullet train. After lunch together, we headed to Odaiba with another friend Yuya! We went to the beach there and eventually met up with Tsuyoshi and Kohei for dinner as well. Later, we went bowling! It was such a good time.

This morning, we are destroying Susan's kitchen so it can be remodeled by an American team coming at the end of the month. The demolition team consists of Paster Bill of International Church Assembly, Susan, Robert, Eric, Kohei and myself. Debbie and I are on supervision, refreshment and documentation also! After all this is cleaned up and we eat some lunch - we are heading out to Kohei's house near Yamanaka Lake, close to Mt. Fuji, for the rest of today and tomorrow! I can't wait!

Well, it's almost over - I'll write another blog after I return from our weekend trip! Thanks for all who have prayed and supported me this summer! I love you!

-Amanda

Well...

I came, I saw...I conquered my fear of sushi...

Blessings.

Here I am, 30 mins into my final week in Japan. It's kind of surreal, just like it was when I first arrived. It was hard to believe I was actually in Tokyo, and now it's hard to believe I won't be in one week's time.

I can't even begin to describe to you how blessed I've been on this adventure God planned for me. I've found myself the last three days sitting back and just thinking that I've never done anything to deserve something so precious and special as my time in Japan this summer, but somewhere in His infinite love, He saw fit to give it to me anyway. There are people I've met that I'm unsure I can live without, so I guess I've been thanking God for modern technology as well!

I would love to tell you that dozens of Japanese people have come to know Christ while I've been here, but I can't. The layers of tradition, oppression and, most recently, apathy are hard to break through. In Japan, contemporary ideas are laced with old-fashioned values. The two sometimes do not mix well, but there is also a lot of opportunity here. We have been able to share our testimonies, our faith, our love for Japan and its people and our common views of everything from world religion to addiction and back again. We have planted seeds that I have to believe God will continue to nurture. Just this week, I saw the word of God reach deep inside the hearts of two students. They haven't changed their minds, they may not even recognize the stirring they felt but I know, without doubt, it was there and I will continue to pray for them and keep contact with them - as well as so many other students that we met.

I'm always encouraged when I read Isaiah 55 - which I've gone back to over and over again this summer. The whole chapter is amazing, but the promise in verses 10-11 has been something I've held onto throughout this whole journey:

“The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to,

and it will prosper everywhere I send it."

God's word will always produce fruit, and it will always accomplish what He wants it to. How awesome is that? It will prosper everywhere He sends it! Anyways, I guess I could tell you what I've been up to in addition to being floored by God's amazingness...

Wednesday, I spent the day with Chisa. I'm going to miss that girl! I wish I had met her earlier in the summer, but I will keep in touch with her. I've enjoyed the time we have been able to spend together. That night, I met Yuri, Susan and Geoff to go to Tokyo Tower! I cannot believe how impressive the night sky over Tokyo was. For example - the new header picture of my blog? I took that in from Tokyo Tower! Sugoi!

Thursday, I had a really great even though it was the hottest day I've experience in Japan thus far. The humidity was off the charts, I couldn't believe it. Anyways, I met LOGOS friends at Todai for lunch and then I went on to Yotsuya to meet with a Waseda student I met last week. Yurika took me to her favorite bakery and we were able to have a really great talk about why I was in Japan and why I did Bible studies and things like that. It was so good! After we ate the best pie I've ever had in my life, we visited a Catholic university near the station that is famous for its English and Spanish programs. She almost went to school there, so we went and took pictures and just walked around and discussed her upcoming trip to Italy. After all of that, went to XHOP at the student center. Such a great day!

Friday I was able to really relax for the first time in awhile. Even my days off have felt a little hectic sometimes but this one was truly a day off. I got some laundry done but mostly just took in the day and got some rest, which was good because Saturday was really busy! I met my friends Izumi and Mitsuru on Saturday for lunch in Shinjuku. I was expecting to have a lot of fun hanging out with them, but I wasn't fully prepared for the blessing I received from them. First, we went to eat at a great udon place and then we had some ice cream in the park. They inisted on paying for it all, despite my constant objection, but they kept saying, "No, no...this is our gift!" So, we were finishing up our ice cream and I was asking Mitsuru if had a lesson later because he'd been carrying his guitar around Shinjuku all day and then Izumi said she's prepared a worship song. Right there, in the middle of this park, they got out the guitar and started singing this worship song - their favorite - and then they gave me a card with our picture in it. I was so shocked I almost started crying! I'd only been around these two students a few times at the student center. They are both really strong Christians and it was so amazing to see how unashamed of their faith they were. It is definitely uncommon to be singing praises to Jesus in a public place. The rest of the day was just as awesome. Before I left, they prayed for me in the middle of a busy exit at Shinjuku station. Again, I'm so amazed at how unashamed they are. It was a beautiful thing to see and to experience and I was definitely crying when I left them at the ticket gate. They were such a blessing to me, and they are such a blessing to Japan!

That night, Robert and I met our friend Yuta from Todai in Ichikawa for our first fireworks show! No lie, Japanese fireworks are about ten times better than American fireworks. Or more. It was huge and it lasted for over an hour and a half! Amazing!

Yesterday, I went to church both at Tokyo Urban Church and the GAP Sunday night service at Robert's church. It was really nice to be able to fellowship with some friends that I didn't think I was going to get to see again!

I'll upload pictures for this blog in the morning, it's getting quite late and I'm getting pretty tired! =] I have more to write about, but I'll finish in the morning. Until then, thank you and I'll be seeing you soon!

Only two weeks...

I posted a blog two weeks before my adventure in Japan began, it's only fitting that I should post another two weeks before this first adventure in Tokyo ends...

I can't believe the summer is almost over!

I don't even really know where to start since my last blog. We've been pretty busy - the summer holiday is starting for most students and there have been church events and sight-seeing with friends. If anyone has been following my pictures on Facebook...I'm sure all they think we do is eat :)

Monday, July 20 was a Japanese summer holiday - umi no hi - or day of the sea/marine day. My church, Tokyo Urban Church, had a big BBQ in the park! It was my first Japanese style BBQ and it was sooo good, there was SO much food. It was also really nice just hanging out with all the families from the church and meeting new guests.

After the big BBQ, Susan and I went to Sunshine City with some friends from Chi Alpha and GAP church. Sunshine City is like a giant mall, but inside there is an indoor kind of food amusement park called Namja Town. We had gyoza and ice cream and then did a little shopping. Susan and I walked back to her apartment in Itabashi from Ikebukuro since we'd been eating all day!

Tuesday we had LOGOS and Kobayashi Sensei was there to wrap up this semester's study of The Purpose Driven Life. We had some really good discussion and there were five nations respresented - Japan, American, S. Korea, China and Malaysia - so we got to hear a lot of different perspectives. The next day, I went to Waseda University and met up with some friends and a few new people. I really enjoyed spending the afternoon with Yasuka and Chisa. Yasuka is the girl I met through Twitter, and I met Chisa through a card game a few weeks ago at Waseda. I'm meeting Chisa again tomorrow, so I'm pretty excited! Also, Robert and I met another girl during lunch last week and I'm meeting her on Thursday at her favorite bakery - so just a lot of really good opportunities and great people! Be praying for me! Also on Tuesday, Susan took Leo, Robert, Kohei and me to the Tokyo Metro. Government building in Shinjuku. From the 45th floor, you can see across Tokyo. The city truly looked endless. Afterwards we enjoyed Krispy Kreme donuts!

Thursday, we had a LOGOS picnic at Todai! The weather is finally sunny here in Tokyo so we brought out a mat to sit on and enjoyed the afternoon(minus the dozens of mosquito bites I obtain daily) under the big tree. There is a team of jugglers that practice on Thursday afternoons out in that open square - so we sat under the tree, talking and watching them juggle. Some days are just perfect summer days...but then again, Tokyo reminds me a little of Oklahoma when it comes to weather. Two hours later, I was roaming about Omotesando before XHOP at the student center in the pouring rain. At least it was beautiful for the picnic!

Friday, I was able to relax and get some laundry done. I have learned the importance of a day off here in Tokyo - although I think my neighbor would beg to differ. She says I let "no grass grow under my feet." Tokyo is exciting, so when I'm not meeting students or at Bible study or prayer - I want to see, smell and taste as much of it as I can. It's been during these times out and about, sometimes alone, that I have really felt I connected with this country. It has been the times when my heart has been broken by what I've seen and also the times I've fallen in love with this place and the people here. So much of this summer has been wrapped in observation when I haven't been in Bible study or at the student center. It's truly a one of a kind place - and there are good and bad aspects of that.

Moving on, Friday I relaxed until the evening - then I met friends in Ogikubo for yakiniku, which is oishii. I'll give Robert and Hiromi props on their favorite Japanese food. I also ate raw meat mixed with raw egg on this particular evening. No worries, the meat here is much, much safer than that of America. It wasn't half bad...but the grilled meat, onions, carrots and the kimichi appetizer were much better! Our friends have really been kind to us, we are always having fun and just enjoying getting to know each other and experiencing new things.

Saturday...there was a going away party for some friends at the church that Robert goes to. The school semester just ended here, so many students are going home for the holiday or are about to go study aboard. We also had XHOP that night at the student center - such a powerful time of prayer! God has been healing some old wounds that I've kept close for too long. It's amazing how much He loves us, you know? We just don't get it most of the time....but He - creator God, ruler of the universe, King of all Kings, all-mighty one - He loves us. Completely. It's just amazing when you really, really think about it. It's life-changing when you know it.

Sunday we had an awesome service at church and then we all got ready to go the Komagome for a district youth worship service. Saikai Sensei, the pastor of my church, is the district youth director, so it was a pretty busy day. Before the service, they cooked hot dogs and yakisoba and there were sno-cones. Kind of like a mini-festival. Some of my good friends from our montly XA meetings were there - Izumi, Mitsuru and Soh. The worship night was amazing. So many students were really responding and it was so encouraging to see so many Japanese students in love with Jesus! I'm always really encouraged by my church - there are a lot of young people there and it is a constant example of how full of life and hope this nation could be!


That finally brings me to this week, which has been amazing in ways I don't even know how to put into words. Monday I met Hiromi in Ikebukuro and we went shopping, then we went to her house in Saitama. Saitama is nothing like Tokyo minus the whole being in Japan thing. It's green and reminds me a lot more of home. In fact, Tuesday morning I had my first encounter with true homesickness as I was leaving Saitama. Meeting Hiromi's family and spending this time at her home is one of the best experiences of this entire journey. It was really important for me to share this with her. She has spent a few holidays at my house in Wagoner and we share so much of our lives living in our little dormroom. Her home is beautiful, and her family is so amazing! I love them. We had Hiromi's favorite food for dinner, then all the ladies went to the sento. Sento is a truly Japanese experience, very relaxing. I'll save the explanation for the exceptionally curious. In the morning, we had breakfast and then I had to catch an early train to get back in time for Bible study at Todai. I didn't want to leave though, I wish I could have spent more time getting to know Hiromi's family and just hanging out with Hiromi! I'll see her when she comes back to Tahlequah though!


Today was the last LOGOS Bible study at Todai! I can't believe it. I will still be meeting with my friends from LOGOS in the next two weeks, but I still just can't believe the summer is ending. Everyone is packing up and preparing for holiday. We have been able to spend more time with Susan these days, which has been really nice. She took us(me, Robert, Kohei) to Ueno Zoo today! Anyone who has really spent any time with me knows that I love the zoo! After the zoo, Hard Rock Cafe Uyeno-Eki, Tokyo for some very American food.


All that being said, we have had some really good conversations and some good questions from some of the students we've met. We know the seeds are being planted, so we keep praying and looking for opportunities to spread life and love in His name. Tomorrow, as I said before, I'm spending some time with Chisa then probably going over some budgeting stuff. Please be in prayer for these final weeks, God isn't on a time schedule and I believe there is still some pretty awesome things He has in store! And, yes, those are my feet in the picture below... =]

I never knew the world until I saw it through Your eyes...

lyrics borrowed from "Who Needs Air?" by The Classic Crime.

Side-note before continuing: my mom e-mailed me earlier this week to let me know that I was awarded a $1000 scholarship from NSU, so that was a huge blessing and just goes to show that God is taking care of what I left behind in order to be in Japan this summer. He is faithful, my friends, always faithful!

Another amazing week in Tokyo!
Tuesday:
Ministry at Todai. Robert and I came to campus early and sang worship songs out by the "big tree" in the middle of campus. I thank God for the freedom we have in Tokyo - and I pray for more openness and less resistance to the Gospel. It was a blessed time, just worshiping there in the open - people walking by, some curious, and all the while God was just opening us up for the day. It's been a busy couple of weeks, we are all tired - but He always refreshes us and renews our spirits and our hunger to reach out to those around us. Robert taught out of The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren at Bible study, about defining our life's purpose. It was good and we had a really great fellowship time at lunch after Bible study.

That evening, we had some friends over for tacos and watermelon! Rob cooked while I met our guests at the train station. We had so much fun! The food was delicious and we played Spoons and Uno after dinner. We finished the night with another ridiculous game of Chubby Bunny... definitely good times and I really connected with one of the girls that came with our friend Takeshi from Waseda, who is really an amazing guy. Be praying for him, I want him to be my brother!


Wednesday:
I went fishing...in Tokyo. Yes, yes. Fishing. For goldfish! Kohei, who went to DisneySea with us and also came to Todai's Bible study on Tuesday, took Robert and I fishing(we caught 8 and then set them free!) and then the three of us met some more friends for an Italian feast. We do a lot of eating in Japan...

Thursday:
I ate lunch with Izumi at Todai, sadly Yuriko couldn't join us because of exams coming up. After lunch, I went to Waseda where I met this really awesome girl in the international communications center! I asked to sit at her table and we just started chatting about what I was doing in Japan and about her life as a student at Waseda. She's really interested in keeping in touch through e-mail and meeting up, so join me as I pray and believe for an opportunity to share my faith with this beautiful young lady!

XHOP that night was amazing, as always. We were joined this week by two Malaysian guys who are staying at the student center for a week, Jason and Leo. They are so much fun and they love Jesus so much! I really enjoyed talking to them before prayer about missions. The prayer time though was really intense. A long, long time ago - I was very active in the intercessory prayer of my church. This was like in middle school. I still actively intercede in my life for the ministries I'm involved in and for the people God has laid on my heart, but a renewed love and passion for intercession has come over me while in Japan and I'm so thankful for it. I know now that God was also preparing my heart at this week's XHOP for an attack on myself that was coming. The enemy would love to distract me and slow me down, he'd love to bog my mind with worry and doubt about things I've left behind me and things that are waiting for me back home but he has no power when I know what he's up to and I know who is really in control. So, I just thank the Lord that He orders my steps, He forgives my sins and He corrects my heart.

Today:
I did a massive load of laundry! Yay! Clean clothes to serve the Lord in! :) Then I went to visit a campus I'd never been to. I was curious about the 1st and 2nd year Todai students since they don't attend at the Hongo campus where we do ministry. Izumi told me the other campus was somewhere in Shibuya...so I did a little research...and made my way to the Komaba Todai campus. I would say that the students there are not as closed off as the ones at the Hongo campus, but not as accessible as the ones at Waseda either. There were posters all over campus warning students of "cult groups and bogus brokers" who were targeting them. Later on, Susan would tell me that they have done ministry there before but the administration is hostile to religious groups. Granted, there is a lot of new age craziness here too but it makes it a little more difficult to start a ministry where the administration thinks you are just trying to swindle or manipulate students. It breaks my heart - watching these students. They don't know how much He loves them. They have no idea that they could be free to just be who they are, and not what they are expected to be according to society norms. They could have hope for something more than what everyone else has had before them.

It's not at all hard to get a glimpse of what they feel, after only being here for a month and a half - I get tired on the train and feel as if I could sleep. I find myself with my mind blank as I change platforms. It's a new experience for me to not be thinking of anything. You become just one of many, a silent body filing in and off trains, shuttling here or there, and then going home. I wonder how many people go through a whole day without really talking to anyone. Sometimes I just want to hug the person standing next to me.

I love these people, I love them so much...
Keep praying,
-Amanda

God is now using Twitter...

...what? I'm not joking.

Recently, students from Waseda University have been adding me on Twitter. I have never met these students, but they seem friendly and I've got plans to meet with at least one of them on campus this week. How crazy is that? It's given me a new list of students to be praying for and I'm thankful for the unlikely connection that was made through modern technology. God can use just about anything for His glory.

In other news, we had our final Waseda English Bible Study last Wednesday. The semester is ending there this week, so Robert and I will be spending a lot of time there this Wednesday and Thursday - making the most of those last days on Waseda's campus. The campus there is very open, so we've met and made several friends from Waseda but it has been difficult to actually get students to come to the Bible study. Both the Waseda and Seikei campuses are open and there is a lot of opportunity to meet people and witness - so just be in prayer for God ideas to help us get students plugged in to the Bible study times!We still have a few weeks left for LOGOS, the Unverisity of Tokyo's Bible study. We've had a consistent group there and its been great getting to know them over the summer. I'm also praying for two specific students who do not currently attend the Bible study that I've met this summer. Todai is a difficult campus to reach - the students tend to be alone and they don't just hang out on campus much, but these are the future leaders of Japan and I am happy to say we do have a steady group there who love the Lord, want to grow and seek opportunities to share their faith with others!

Saturday, Robert and I went back to Seikei - with some other Christian friends. I met up with two students I'd met previously there and it was really cool to talk to them again and see how they've been since I'd talked to them last. I'm still praying a lot for Seikei and the students I met there. I've heard back from several of my conversation partners this week. We should be setting up some coffee and English appointments soon - they have tests this week, but are looking forward to meeting next week possibly! I can't wait - God just opened up a lot of doors at Seikei University and there are several girls that really just stood out to me. There are two Christian professors on that campus too, so there is potential for even greater ministry to be done at Seikei - be praying that God opens doors for a Chi Alpha ministry or something there!

I also cut my hair off on Saturday afternoon. Nihon no natsu wa atsui desu ne!

XHOP continues to refresh and challenge me. I look forward to those times in prayer and worship probably more than anything else during my time here. I also am really blessed at my church, Tokyo Urban Church!

Campus ministry is slowing down, but now we have even more time to meet with students. We also have some time to do some sight-seeing with Susan, which will be fun because outside of me living in her apartment, we haven't really got to go out and spend time with her in Tokyo. Last week, Robert and I were able to go to Tokyo DisneySea with Yuri, who works with Chi Alpha, and her friends Kohei and Geoff. It was so much fun, and it was definitely an unexpected adventure for my time here in Tokyo. It really was amazing.

Soon, I'll get to visit Tokyo Tower and the Ueno Zoo - but maybe even more exciting than all of that is the upcoming NSU Tokyo Reunion this Saturday, where I'll get to see a lot of students from my university back home, and my overnight trip to my roommate Hiromi's home. I'll get to meet her parents and stay the night at her house! I'm so, so, so excited to share this time in Japan with my roommate Hiromi. She's a really special lady!

Well, today I was able to get some rest from the busy last two weeks. I got some business stuff taken care of and took a long walk through a part of Itabashi that I'd never been to before. Met a nice guy at a clothing store, in broken Japanese and English we discussed American music, television and style. It was a good walk. My eyes have seen so many things this summer and there are so many things my heart will never forget. There is so much need for His love here. Two months isn't long enough!

Pray for me as I pray about coming back to Japan after I graduate, and pray for the final weeks of ministry ahead here in Tokyo. Thank you, as always, for your love and support!

Balance.

Last week was busy, but it was really great. This week is much slower, which is nice for all of us who need to catch up on our rest. Monday night was a nice time of refreshment and ministry at the student center. It was the Carbondale team's last night here in Tokyo so they led our XA service and the altar time was very moving and the Holy Spirit was just present - it was awesome. There are amazing students who come to these prayer services, and I know that God has amazing things planned for them. Today, I discussed Ch. 39 of The Purpose Driven Life at Tokyo University. It was a good chapter for me to read and study because it was all about keeping balance in your spiritual life and I think, especially after how busy last week was, it was definitely some wisdom I needed to hear. After the study, we ate lunch and then Rob went back to the student center and I went back to the apartment...and I'm fairly certain we both took naps!

As I said in my last blog, I went to Seikei on Tuesday of last week and I was also there all day on Thursday. We had such a unique opportunity to actually go into these English classrooms, sing, make friends and talk about our faith and the love of Jesus. Each student received a copy of The New Testament in English/Japanese. We had some really good feedback from the students and we've all been e-mailing our conversation partners. Since I'm going to be here until August, I'm trying to make plans to meet some of the student I met for coffee before I leave. Be praying for those coffee meetings - I want the chance to talk about what we shared in the classes! I'm especially praying for one girl that I met - at the end of The Blessing Song(a song in Japanese about how much you are loved by God), she was crying and it was just a really precious moment to be there and hug her at the end of it. I've been trying to keep close contact with her and hopefully we'll be able to meet.

Tuesday evening we had a welcome party at The University of Tokyo - it was an awesome time of fellowship with the LOGOS Todai Bible study members, the Carbondale team and also some church members from The Gap(an international church located across the street from Tokyo University). Good food, amazing testimonies and songs, and good friends! Wednesday we met some awesome ladies at Waseda University, they joined us for a few rounds of spoons and conversation. Shortly after that, two ladies from the Carbondale team - Christa and Aprille - and I went down to the spot on campus where the hip hop dancers practice. Christa ended up dancing with them and we were able to talk to several of the girls and they invited us back to their group practice later that night. WEBs Bible study at Waseda was really good - we sang and some of the team shared their testimonies and Robert and I were finally able to meet Nozomi, the student leader of WEBs. We, of course, finished the night with a trip to the ramen shop for dinner!

Friday, Robert and I got to spend time with our friend Takeshi from Waseda. He took us to Asakusa(awesome!) and then we met up with the team in Shibuya(busy!) for a bit, and then he became my best friend ever because he took us to eat okonomiyaki! Okonomiyaki is my favorite Japanese food, and I hadn't been able to eat it anywhere yet. It's really cool because you cook it at your table. Oishii! Saturday was another fun day - finally took Liz to Harajuku and we also went to one of the biggest Shinto shrines in Japan, Meiji Jingu. There were some Shinto weddings happening that day and I know we were both prayer walking a bit while we were there. It was amazing knowing that we were in the heart of Tokyo and here was this forest with a Shinto shrine deep inside. It was a beautiful place, but there are so many rituals and its almost as much of a tourist attraction for Japanese people as it is for foreigners. After our day out in Harajuku, we came back to the apartment for Fourth of July dinner with Susan and Susan's neighbor Debbie. My first year without fireworks...but, I'll get to see some here in Japan later this month with our Tokyo University friend Yuta! Can't wait.

Sunday, went to church and had lunch with my cell group then I got on a train and headed to Akabane in Saitama to meet some friends from NSU! Arisa, Megumi and Yuki - it was so much fun hanging out with them and taking purikura. It's been such a blessing to get to meet with some of my friends from home...in their home country! It just really means a lot to me to have this experience and to be able to share it with them - because right after God, they are the reason I am here. I love these people, these friends. So, it was great to spend some time with more friends from NSU and I'm trying to set up a few more NSU meetings before the summer ends...

...and it is ending all too soon! As I look at the calendar, it just doesn't seem like enough time. I miss my family and I can't wait to see them, but the thought of leaving Tokyo behind is just hard for me. People need freedom and joy here, someone needs to tell them that they are loved and I want to help be a part of that. It just doesn't seem like enough time...

Be praying for the team as we begin our final month in Japan. Pray that we have wisdom, divine opportunities, favor and a love for the people around us that cannot be quenched. Pray that our love is contagious. Pray that our mouths are filled with truth and that the ears of those we speak to are opened to it. Thank you so much for your continued support - we could not do this without you.

Most of all, thanks to Jesus - Your overwhelming love and kindness is more than sufficient for me.

Oyasuminasai, friends and family!

I've trusted You, oh Lord, from childhood...

It must be incredibly difficult to be a Christian in Japan.

That is probably the most foreign thing to me here, even though I knew the facts before I came. I grew up in Oklahoma - the Bible belt. Most people at least have an inkling what the gospel is about because we grew up hearing about it. I have known He existed since I was very young, and now I cannot deny the blessing that was. Here, Christianity is not readily accepted. In fact: Your family might disown you. You might lose favor at your workplace. It's hard to find discipleship and a church where you feel you can grow. You might be confused, alone and rejected...and at the same time, you're probably happier than most of the people bustling by you on the street or in the station.

It's incredibly difficult, but once the decision has been made - like in most places - it completely changes everything. Most would say the church in Japan is a bit stuffy and old-fashioned, but I really believe there is a young generation rising up with a passion and a purity that Japan hasn't experienced before. There is a hunger for truth and a genuine love for God that could change cities for His name. Be praying for an even greater openness to His truth and His love here!

It's been a busy week/weekend. We have met so many people! I ate lunch at Todai last Thursday with Izumi and her friend Yuriko. That afternoon, I met with my friend Yuki from NSU at Waseda University. Robert, Yuki and I spent the day wandering around campus, getting ate alive by mosquitoes and talking about the lack of pandas. That evening, we had coffee and dinner with an awesome new friend, Takeshi - fresh from Long Beach, CA and wanting to speak some English! We spent Friday sight-seeing with a Todai friend, Yuta. He took us to eat chankonabe(the traditional food of sumo fighters!) and to the Edo-Tokyo Museum in Ryogoku, then we went on to Akihabara(Electric Town). It was so much fun. I'm really thankful for the friends we made last week and some of them are planning on attending Bible study this week, so that's exciting.

Saturday was a long day...

Liz(a girl I met at orientation my first week in Japan) and I had this awesome plan to meet and go to Harajuku before Saturday night XHOP. She has her Saturdays free, so she took a 1.5 hr train ride from Chiba to meet me at Shinjuku station. This is when things got interesting. I got there and could not find her! After an hour or so of walking the platform and running up all kinds of stairs, I gave up and went home. (Cell phones are more convenient than I realize...) All's well that ends well though, and God knows the ending to every story. Liz somehow survived the busiest station in the world, found an internet cafe and some addresses and then employed the help of Frenchman who escorted her to the door of the XA Student Center. I got the call, and we all went to dinner together before prayer service. God is good, you know? God just renewed and refreshed us during XHOP -as we were all a little weary from the day's craziness- and Liz and I made Harajuku plans for an upcoming day off! Sunday was church day! Rainy, rainy, rainy - but it is always nice to be at Tokyo Urban Church. Minus the language barrier, it feels like these people have been my church family and have been my friends for much longer than this summer. My cell group is amazing, and it's nice to just have that time with some Christian girls to talk about things and pray together!

Today, the final team came in: Carbondale! They have been coming to Japan for seven years now. This is the biggest team of the summer, 10 people + Robert, Susan and me. Traveling with that big of a group has its ups and downs in Tokyo, but we got to Seikei University just in time for our English class! Carbondale did a drama and gave out Bibles and we got to meet a lot of really great students. Seikei is a beautiful campus and they are so lucky to have Netsu-sensei! He is the professor who invited us to the campus to speak to his class. What an amazing opportunity - helping them with their English AND a introduction to the faith that brought us from mid-America to Japan. It went really well and I can't wait to get in touch with the girls I met during class!

Tomorrow, I'm going back to Seikei University with the Carbondale girls and we have a Bible study party at Todai tomorrow night. Please be praying for our ministry on these campuses and for the friendships we have made!