火曜日。

One of these days, I'm going to write a poem again.

(I hope...)

For now, I suppose I'll just stick to reading as nothing I pen seems to be coming out right.  I find this is what happens when I decide to write for joy, rather than to get someone's attention.  When I am writing a lot, and not always based out of my own life experience as I sometimes try to see from different perspectives, I notice I stick to the all-too-common in poetry themes of goodbye and impossible loves.  Sorta depressing, and I'm honestly too happy to spend my time jotting down these tales of imaginary heartache...so I just stop writing.

And, then I miss it.  Writing is a part of who I am, so to neglect it is to neglect a joy in my life that I really do believe God put there for a reason.  Maybe I'm not even remotely the best at it, but the process of creating something brings happiness to my life.  That being said, I know there has to be a way to turn the boat around.

I often try to write about God.  About His vast love, of His mercies which are new every morning, of His everlasting goodness.  I can't stand to sound cliche when talking about Christ, which often leaves me with three lines I'm not impressed with and a bit of frustration.  He's just too big for me to capture, which is amazing.  He can't be pinned down with mere words.  

I get the feeling He delights in my attempts, anyway, like a parent who puts a child's coloring page on the refrigerator.  Maybe He enjoys it even though it isn't perfect, and it was done out of love for Him. 

I deleted a post I made earlier today, something I wrote last summer that recently received a highlight on a poetry forum I used to frequent.  I was excited to see that it had been recognized and thought I would like to share it even though it was perhaps a bit sad, but upon rereading it a few times - all I could see were my attempts to reach for praise from a world I no longer belong in.  If I write, I want to inspire hope, not throw my voice into a chorus of all those still broken by their choices, or the choices that were made for them, or the choices they feel they never had the chance to make.

Sometimes, I just need to consecrate my thought process to Christ all over again.

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."  - Philippians 4.8

Until I decide to ramble on about random things again.
Amanda