I'm sitting in the Office of International Cooperation and Exchange at the School of Engineering, The University of Tokyo, trying to keep my hands warm. The heater must not be doing it's job, we are all shivering a bit and keeping on our extra layers of clothes.
It's not even that cold in Tokyo - and yet, no one ever seems to warm up. Unless you are on the 8:15 train, in which case you will be sweating before the train leaves the platform. It's an awkward dance of coat on, coat off, made all the more challenging by the unnatural amount of junk I feel I must put in my backpack on the daily. I mean, come on...
But, all in all, it's good. The gust of wind at the top of the escalator when exiting Todaimae station, the sunlight through the trees and on the street, bicyclists expertly weaving their way between those in the process of foot commute...it all says it's a new morning, and you're alive to experience this gift. Drink it in before the day wears long and you don't feel like praising. More and more, I feel much of a day's end depends on how its first moments are approached.
It's usually not until I'm on the street, heading to wherever I'm going, that I feel this way though. When I wake up...I still want to throw my phone, and thus its alarm, into a dark corner of my closet. I guess some things don't change.
I want change, though. I want to get up when my alarm goes off the first time - be ready with thirty minutes to spare so I can have some cereal and a glass of orange juice with Jesus before I head to Nakano station. I want to be more motivated to study, keep up with my schedule better, manage my relationships in order to maximize the potential I see in every friendship formed. I want to see God change Waseda, and Todai, and my church and I want to be a more dedicated part of it. I want to be the girl I've always wanted to be, not just the girl I settled for. I want to write and write and write and write and feel I've actually put something to paper that means something, even if it only means something to me.
I want to love God for the sake of loving Him, and I want to love Him in a way that prepares my heart to love others. I want to tear down a few walls, as cliché as that is, and let other people into the areas of my life I've kept closed. I want to be filled with evident light - no hidden corners in my life.
“Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when it is bad, your body is filled with darkness. Make sure that the light you think you have is not actually darkness. If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight were filling you with light.”- Luke 11:34-36
It is often said the eye is a window to our soul. One of the greatest bits of encouragement I think I've ever received happened here in a Japan a few months ago, when a brother in Christ I'd just met told me he could see God in me - through my eyes. My heart's desire! But, you know, most days I just talk about how tired I am and I don't even give God the opportunity to fill my life with light. I read this passage this morning on the train - one I'm sure I've read time and time again, but it took on a whole new perspective today. I love Luke 11:36 - "then your life will be radiant, as though a floodlight were filling you with light." Beautiful.
A floodlight is a pretty powerful lamp. They are generally used to light a large area. So, I am led to believe that when we are filled with true light - our lives naturally touch the area around us with that light. We can be radiant, and who doesn't love shiny things?
That's something to aspire to this year - be so filled with true light that it naturally spills into the lives of those that surround us. It's more about the good God in our hearts than it is about the good things we decide to do. It's meaningless without that light.
I don't know that this post is very well connected throughout, but these are just some of the thoughts in my head today. Morning, change, light.
Anyways, an e-mail just came in, so I guess that's my cue to get back to work.
Until.
Amanda
No comments:
Post a Comment